From Rob to Sob

Chapter 5 - New friends are good friends.

Day 271. 20th August. Year 6 OR

I emerged from my time traveling vortex thing I just made up and discovered that nothing had changed. What gives? It took a while of a few friendly questionings from my next door neighbour to discover that it was only one year after I had left. How annoying. I wiped the blood off my hands and wandered next door to my old home.

There I was wandering around the garden proberly planning his future dictaroship who knows. I waved to him and he ran off yelling happily. This made me sigh. Nothing has really changed so I made my self at home again and tried to continue my teachings of leadership with guns.

It was then I noticed my dad watching from a window. I waved to him but he must not have seen me for he yelled some rude words at some "young ruffian." Annoyingly the door was locked so i calmly smashed it down and entered the house to say hello to everyone again.

After a few minutes my dads friends came along. He must have phoned them while I wasn't looking. Ah old fashions. Strange black clothings with white squares and radios and funny caps. They had come in some kind of a party mobile with flashing lights. I decided to join in the party. They seemed to be a part of some kind of group called police or something.

Oh they were very friendly and happy to take me with them on some mystery road trip. I soon grew bored and decided to have a go with driving. With screams of delight from my new friends we found a way to make cars fly. Through fields we drove and over hills. We all had great fun.

When I felt that it was time to go home my friends didn't want me to leave. That popular am I? I told them calmly that I had to go. They all took it quit well after I had had a short playful go with that baseball bat of theirs. They even let me have their car with it's own interactive radio. It was great. Everyone on it talked to me all the time I drove.

Maybe this isn't such a bad time period after all.

Chapter 4 - Cheer up you little...

Day 269. 25th December. Year 5 OR.

Everyone enjoys a good christmas with the family don't they wee me. I have been here for some time and I must say that it has been fun. Everyone so friendly in this house. My mother has stopped foaming at the mouth and now joyfully rocks backwards and forwards singing old nursery rhymes. She must be looking back to her childhood and dreaming of past games and friends. My father has returned from his new friends who wear the white coats. He too seems to be full of christmas cheer. Never sitting still always commenting on what a happy family this is and how normal everything is.

The me from this time, however, is a different story. Was I really like this? Blooming kids. They never behave do they. After all the trouble I took to take him to all those museams to teach him about the world. All those long detailed lectures on philosophy. All those long boring lessons on how mathamatics can help us understand the world around that I had to sit through. Not one bit of thanks do i get. I have to drag him now kicking and screaming to all those places. I keep telling him that I wouldn't hit him so hard if he didn't scream so much. I think I got the hang of the discipline stuff now. Now if he ever causes me trouble I simply hit him over the head and he goes quiet. Nice.

Well it's christmas now. The wee me seems to be quite excited for some reason. Well maybe it's all the presents I got him. Wow look at all this stuff. They'd never allow this stuff for children now a days. I don't see why. I mean what harm will a machine gun really do I mean come on. Next you'll be going on about that katana I gave him which I found on my daily explore through this city's buildings.

What a heartless brat. Look at all this weaponry I took the trouble to get and you want some kind of toy? Oh don't cry again. Look I'm sorry I smashed your stuff, it won't happen again. I did try to make him feel better by showing him my old hand puppet which he'll get three year later and will love for many years to come but it didn't work.

I've had enough of this time period. The me at this stage can't even spell his own name properly. How's he going to become me if he can't spell. I can spell very well and look at me now. Still where next? We can only wait and see for I shall be going to a random space of time.

Chapter 3 - Late to bed and early to rise makes a man Rob.

Day 142. 20th August. Year 5 OR

After jumping forward to this day I had hoped to see many changes but was sadly dissapointed to see nothing changed. Now being four years old I seem to have not been giving much thought to my rise to power yet. Maybe I should educate myself so as to be sure of my empire becoming as it is now. Never too young to start a campaign.

With this thought in mind I walked down the path to my old home knocking over a woman who had a nasty fall. After given this loon a few harmless kicks for messing up my coat I relised it was my mother. I apologised but she didn't seem to mind. She even took me home. She did call me "woberakickadicicyert" but that was the only problem that I could make out.

My father was happy to see me as well when he came home. The look of sheer delight across his face when he saw me. The way he held out his arm to hug me. It was a strange hug that almost pushed me out the door but it was still there. He seemed so friendly that I had to do something in return. I gave him a slap on the back. What a funny man he is making an amusing fake yell of pain and banging his head off the wall. We knew he was faking of course because he had a little nap after that.

With my father was little me. Amazing how much I had grown. After my father was peacefuly asleep I thought that I'd have a play with the small me. He was very happy to see me as well. Playing hide and seek in such a spirit of fun. I never knew I could run so fast.

Day 145. 23rd August. Year 5 OR

Ah deja vu. There was me crying before the first day of school. I felt so desperate to tell me that this so called "stict" teacher would be a push over after you found out the way to control people's minds. But we'll come to that another time.


Still it was morning now and there I was in my first uniform that we had until I banned then six years later.


So little "Wobut" was taken by me to school. There was no one else seeing as my mother had vanish during the night and returned cluthing a baseball bat sniggering to herself in no right frame of mind to do anything and my father had been taken away by those friendly men in white coats. Boy look at all those broken windows on these cars. Must have been those teenagers again.

As we walked along I talked to myself about all the wonderful things to learn at school. After finishing talking about how k=1/4 in the equation: x2 - 5x + (k + 6) = 0 I looked round to see myself running away.

After I caught myself I dragged him to school and threw him at the teacher's face. She wasn't really hurt only pretending so as to get out of work. "A fractured skull" now what kind of injury is that? Look at that huge bruse on the little me's back. He'll have trouble sleeping on his back now.

Still night came and I was tired. Don't worry little me I will be in your class tommorrow to make sure nothing else happens to you. Sheesh I mean isn't school ment to be safe for children these days?

Chapter 2 - Was it something I said?

Day 139. 18th March. Year 1OR (Of Rob)

I was having a fun time living in the past. The only set back was myself. That wee guy didn't seem to like me very much. I only destroyed his teddy it's not like I destroyed him. Sheesh all that wailing over nothing. Am I really that annoying? I did try to explain to me why I did it. I was told it would grant me power to rule the world. I must have done the spell wrong or something. But still it had seemed to make sense. That man from the "Wizards Unite" seemed to know what he was talking about. He said he wasn't part of a cult so it must have been all real. I had never heard of "Wizards Unite" in my time so it must have changed it's name at some point.

The family seem happy with me being in the house. My mother is always merry and dancing with axes and my father just sits there watching me not saying a word. The odd thing about that man is that he never seems to want to talk only moving away when I come near. But he has never shown any sign of concern about me being there.

Although feeling welcome I am becoming slightly bored with being here and am think about moving on a few years. Not much has happened in the last few months. The giant frogs began their attack on Earth but that happens all the time. It's boring.

Let's go see that old school of mine I say. It would be nice to see the inside of it and all my old friends again before they were all lost in that unexplained gas explosion that happened the day I was in trouble for breaking a window. How amazingly coincidental that I had gone outside at that exact moment and was the only one to survive. Some things will never be explained.

I think it's now time to move on and see what interesting things will happen in the next few years. Watch out school here comes Rob (again).

Chapter 1 - It's a girl... oh wait a boy sorry.


Day 1. 30th September. Year: 0BR (Before Rob).


I had arrived on this fatefull and I must say annoyingly warm late summer day. Strange just how much has changed. That statue of me isn't there yet. How odd. And also everyone here is walking around freely. Must have been before these squids began to attack. Oh them squids. They come over here and act like they own the place. Go back to the sea darn it!!!

Still I checked the date on a newspaper I borrowed from an old woman. Oh she was fine after the fight, I saw her get up. I was shocked to find the date being that of my birth. Funny that.

Knowing where I'd be at this time of day I wondered through the small village of Edinburgh to find that hospital where I came from. You know that one that brunt down around 16 years later. I didn't do it. I was just holding the matches and the curtains sort of set themselves on fire. It wasn't my fault that someone had happened to splash petrol all over the place. How was I to know that the firemen would be delayed by a 16 year old teenager with an axe before they could deal with the fire. I mean they act as though it was all my fault.

After getting lost in the building I managed to find myself. I seemed very playful. We had a game of basket ball. I missed the basket several times but not to worry. I landed on my head most of the time so there was no real injury when I returned me to that small bed again.


Day 30. 29th October. Year: 0BR


I have never been in a jail before nor a courtroom so this was a new experience for me. My parents didn't seem very pleased when they found out what happened to the wee me. I personly don't see what all the trouble was about. The little me never gave on word of annoyance when we played. He only scream with pure delight as I threw him at the basket. Still my parents must have known who I was. Infact even the press knew who I was. They called me "a mad man." Only the people who truely know me know how insane I am.

I wasn't in jail for long. They soon sent me to this new hospital like building. Since I could escape through a vortex any time I wanted I just enjoyed the ride until I grew bored. I even let out a few friends I made in this place. Very nice guys. The naughty police said they were murders who were a danger to the public but I could see no sign of it.

Out of this place I wondered through Edinburgh to find my old home. My mother was pleased to see me. That was after she fell over, somehow, when she saw who I was. After she got up she began to laugh and foam at the mouth. That large bump on the head from when she fell didn't seem to affect her. When she did speak she laughed a lot. "Are you going to rob the place?" she asked through several cackles and blackouts. Yes she knows me too well. I was indead going to Rob the place. I was going make this place very much Rob. Truelly this batty woman was my mother.

You know I think I'll fit in nicely here.

We go back a long way.

In the beginning there was Rob.



On a random 30th of September something happened that changed the world forever. The Rob was unleashed and his reign of terror began. The Land of Rob was formed and the world covered in darkness. Well night had to come some time.

Rob, from now, is stuck in this period (for some reason) and has to get back.
And so the story of Rob begins.